What is JuJu? Is it the Steelers Wide receiver better known for his Fortnite game play rather than his separation skills? Nope. Is it luck? Is it Karma? What is this thing I call JuJu?
Juju is something special, it’s an aura. Frankly, it can be whatever you want it to be. Most of us know it within the sports/gambling world, but it can be used however and whenever you want. It's the best excuse you can ever have in your life for better or worse. JuJu can be a ritual you have before something important. We all have a way of making something out of nothing, we have that special hat or piece of clothing we must wear under our uniform that gives us these so called “special powers”. When this JuJu fails, we always have a scapegoat to why our JuJu fails. It's never OUR FAULT
As the compulsive gambler and sports fanatic I am, I live and die by this shit. JuJu is my so-called holy figure. I look up to it for answers and sometimes pray. It’s not luck, it's not Karma, this is the Power of the JuJu. So let me give you some examples of how much power the JuJu really has.
Super Bowl 54, the Chiefs versus the 49ers was the match up. Rule number one, ALWAYS ride with your boys. If you are one of those people that drift away from your group, you're begging for Bad Juju .The whole squad slammed the Chiefs for the Brinks truck. We were off to a hot start with winning a small bag on the coin toss because TAILS NEVER FAILS, and the easiest over on the National Anthem ever. It was a hot start to say the least, but now the game was off and running. As the world saw, the 49ers got off to a fast start. We all thought somewhere we were gonna see those extra printed T-shirt’s roaming the internet of the Chiefs Super Bowl Champions being sold for $1.50. As I was watching this game, I couldn’t be happy going into halftime being tied. I wasn't covering the -1.5 spread that those fools at the Sports Book made. But the age old saying goes, never count your chickens before they hatch.
My mind was at ease for that 20 minutes of soft core porn the world saw on national television, but that’s a story for another time. Halftime ends and the whole room desperately needs a Chiefs comeback. It’s time for what I call Reverse JuJu. I began to say things like: “The 49ers are the greatest team in the Super Bowl Era” and “Jimmy G is the Greatest QB of all time”. Things that are just completely against what you believe. You call it stupid, I call it magic.
My degenerate friend comes out of the bathroom, looking like he was either throwing up or crying in the fetal position. He hears my reverse JuJu from across the room and knows he needs to change his energy. He flips his Islanders hat inside out and backwards like he’s Ash Ketchum. This is what we call a rally cap for all you lowlifes that never played little league. He needs this win and quite frankly, so do I. I can't bear to watch my friend lose that much money in my home. I look up one last time and pray to the JuJu Gods not only for me, but for us.
Now I don’t need to tell you what happens next, but I will anyway. We fucking did it. Big boy Patty Mahomes looked me deep in the eyes going into the fourth quarter with a glare some would call scary. The Chiefs not only won the Super Bowl but won by 11. So to those you had money on the game, to those who are Chief fans, thank the power of the JuJu for giving us that win.
Like I said before, JuJu is a two way street, like a bad friend that says you never call them anymore. I have a friend, we won’t mention his name to avoid death threats for losing bets. Lets just say, he is the absolute worst JuJu I’ve ever seen.
Flashback to our yearly Degenerate trip to the Sports Book for March Madness in 2019. Not only does he show up two days late - which ruins the vibe we have built after a 48 hour gambling binge, he decides to break rule number one. He starts betting against our picks! We tell him to get back in his car and drive away. Our great picks turn terrible faster than Shaq misses free throws.
The most memorable pick that made me furious was LSU -2.5. It was a back and forth game, which was expected. What I didn’t expect is that with 2 minutes left, said friend comes back to the sports book as he let’s this garbage spew from his mouth, “Wait, you have LSU, damn I have Maryland…”. It was at that moment I knew, my bet slip should go in the trash.
With 30 seconds left in the game, LSU was up 3 and he says his famous words “It’s over, Maryland isn’t going to cover.” He puts his own Reverse JuJu into action, cancelling my JuJu. Next play down the court, 6’10 Freshman Jalen Smith is left wide open in the corner to drain a 3 that ties the game. Smith shot under 25% from the arc all damn year, and tonight is the night he makes that shot?! Long story short, LSU comes up the court and makes a beautiful layup with 1.6 second to go. They don’t cover. Why? Because that terrible friend said “It’s over”. This friend broke all JuJu rules, he counted his chickens, he went against the squad, and even after all of that? He didn’t even buy dinner to say sorry.
Juju works in mysterious ways and can make or break a gamblers day. Whether you have heard of it or not, I guarantee it has changed the outcomes of your bets. Whether it was the way you changed the JuJu, or there was a stranger 1,000 miles away that did it. Believe in the Power of the JuJu, for it is unforgiving to those who don’t.
Comments